By Habib Trabelsi

Women are banned from sitting on a chair or surfing the Internet in the absence of a male guardian, prohibited from playing football or learning English: According to preachers, the scope of lawful shrinks like a shagreen in Saudi Arabia, a juicy souk for merchants of fatwas.

Investors in the lucrative market of fatwas

 "The fatwa market should be banned. It is illegal to use religion for profitable goals," said Sheikh Abdel Mohsen Al-Oubikane, member of the Advisory Board and advisor at the Ministry of Justice. He deplored "the great mess created by the anarchic fatwas, especially flourishing during Ramadan,” the Muslim month of fasting, the daily al-Riyadh reported on September 25, 2008. Dozens of clerics and preachers poured into satellite television channels to issue religious decrees, mostly preposterous and sometimes bloody.

 False solutions to false problems

Others offer their services “à la carte”, responding to specific issues and providing false solutions to false problems via the Internet or, even better, by charged SMS. According to al-Riyadh, a Saudi preacher has reached a record 150,000 subscribers. "Fatwas On-Live: Ask a question which the Sheikh will directly answer. Only subscribers can access it. Sign up by clicking here. Above all, do not deprive yourself of the good," said one of the many offers on the Internet.

 Wholesale market

Another offers "a program of thousands of fatwas issued over the last hundred years by the Al-Azhar Fatwa Committee" and recommends "all Muslims download it." Abdellatif Mohamed Al-Sheikh, the editor-in-chief of the Saudi daily al-Jazirah, wrote that "investment in fatwas is an illegitimate and shameful looting of others’ money"and urged authorities to ban "this cheap business."

A Babel tower

 "In the souk of fatwas, there is from everything: political fatwas with a religious casing, religious fatwas with political connotations, tailored fatwas, a mufti authorizes what another prohibits ... it is a Babel tower!" wrote an internet surfer in the wake of comments which were triggered by the fever of fatwas issued by leading Saudi clerics or preachers practising in the kingdom. The most controversial fatwas were a call to murder owners of depraved television channels and another, of Syrian origin, to fight Mickey Mouse and his satanic fellows. These serial fatwas, which were not spared by the Western media, were also ridiculed by many columnists of Saudi newspapers and derided by countless readers.

Trivial Fatwas

Some have even had fun in making inventories of "nonsense" uttered by "stars of the satellite channels" and "online fatwas." For instance, the chair is a Western invention. The Prophet Muhammad sat on the floor. This brings one closer to the Creator. A woman should not sit on a chair because she spreads her charms this way... And then the chair is "masculine" word in Arabic! “The "perfidious" nature of the woman should not allow her to surf the Web alone. She should browse the Internet in the presence of a male guardian,” decreed two prominent preachers. Another sheikh has demonstrated, in 36 pages, that practising football is illegal unless women fulfill “fifteen conditions”: The first being that this game’s objective is to “strengthen the body ... to devote themselves to jihad!” As for the English language, learning it distracts children from the Arabic language and teaches them in the same time to learn to love natives of this foreign language. Same verdict for chemistry; "a form of magic," high-heeled shoes; "misleading, because they show women bigger than they normally are," besides a ban on veiled women to wear colourful clothing excluding black, a ban on men to cut their hair on Friday or to wear a tie and on a faithful to applaud, to laugh.

 Infuriated Saudis: The kingdom in the line of fire

 "Clearly, our ulema (scholars) do not leave us anything lawful," said an internet surfer. "We have had enough of these ridiculous fatwas which incite the world's contempt towards our country and our religion," adds a second. "We must be careful ... None of us should be on the lookout of the slightest slip so they can exploit it as they please," write the blogger Mohamed Al-Maghlouth on http://www.the-plucky.com/blogs/?p=190. "Saudi Arabia is under the spotlight. Every word uttered by a cleric is automatically picked up by newspapers and websites, to make it a mockery," adds his fellow Thamar Al-Marzouki at http://www.ljo2.net/?p=320.

A "world jurisprudence league"

This bulimia of fatwas, often sad, led Sheikh Oubikane to call, September 25, for the establishment of a "world jurisprudence league" which would be "open to all Muslim faiths and grouping not less than one hundred clerics, in a bid to issue fatwas after having been checked and screened. The league will then be the only reference for all Muslims.” But his call, which was published by the daily al-Riyadh, immediately caused uproar… Several readers have strongly rejected the idea of associating 'Rafidha' (derogatory term used by Sunnis to describe Shiites) to such a project. "Have we forgotten that the Rafidha insult Abu Bakr and Omar (the companions of the Prophet Muhammad) and Aisha (the Prophet's favorite wife)? Have we forgotten that the Rafidha are currently exterminating Sunnis in Iraq? "How dare we say: let us unite our fatwas with them?" Lamented a reader. "This would require reuniting day with night," replied another.

[Translated from French by Saad Guerraoui, senior editor at Middle East Online].

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